My last known address at the employers is the same as the my former husbands, the employee. I am not even sure they sent it, I believe the handed deliver a description of the health insurance plan to him only. Is that enough for the COBRA notification requirement?

I would change / update your address asap with the health plan administrator. When did you let them know about the legal separation or divorce?

When the spouse's last known address is the same as the covered employees, a single mailing of the SPD with COBRA information addressed to both the employee and the spouse constitutes good faith compliance with the COBRA notification requirement. However, in-hand delivery of the SPD to the employee at the work site would not constitute adequate notice of COBRA information to the spouse.

http://www.cobrahealth.com/timerequirements.html